To Save a Life, or Not?

Having been the donor for my brother's bone marrow transplant (BMT), I understand the surprise choice this man is making.  While it may seem like an easy choice to many, there is a lot of thought that goes into being a donor and choosing to follow through on it.

It really comes down to the priorities that you have in your life.  This man, obviously, values life over sports.  I'm sure many of us wouldn't mind shaking his hand for the sacrifice he is making.  Yet, it's not as simple down the road, after the BMT.

How so?  Well, BMTs are extremely risky.  My brother had the traditional 50/50 chance given to children BMT patients.  He was one of 2 patients out 6 on the floor that survived their BMTs.  From the donor perspective, you have to be very careful mentally going into the process.  You can't think "I'm going to save a life."  You can't think in such concrete terms like that, because even though your bone marrow might be a perfect match, the patient could still die.  If you aren't guarded, you could deal with guilt later on.

I was a donor when I was 11 and I remember having an official meeting with doctors and the hospital assigned psychologist.  The meeting was required because I was so young.  They needed to impress upon me that it wasn't my responsibility whether Jon survived this transplant or not.  That was a nice relief off my shoulders, but it was a burden having that thought put into mind as well.

At age 11, and suddenly you're introduced to a concept called survivor's guilt.  Not that my life was in any danger, and not that Jonathan didn't make it.  But it was a tough reality to face as an 11 year old.

Now I think about it every time I hear about a BMT.  I think about the donor.  I hope and I pray that they don't deal with any guilt should their recipient die.  At any age that would be a tough situation.  In this situation, given his sports sacrifice, I hope he never faces that possibility.  I pray for a healthy and healing BMT.