Below is an open letter I wrote for speaking at my brother's graduation last summer. Jon was able to graduate at the age of 21, after years of mental, emotional, and physical hurdles. This was an event that many doctors and professionals told us would probably never occur, just because of Jon's acquired brain injury alone. Such 'encouragement' did not stop my family though, especially my mother. She has always been Jonathan's doughty champion, even when she needed her own champion to blaze a path through an unfamiliar educational wilderness.
I wrote this letter while living with my family last summer because of an out-of-state internship in Texas. A lot was going on in my life, but I knew I wanted to memorialize such an achievement in a special way that our whole family could appreciate, yet others in the audience would understand. Being an avid Tolkien devotee, I naturally turned my thoughts to the literature I love best. In the 2-3 hours I was locked in my room, only about an hour was spent typing at intervals. The rest was spent in thought and much crying. The imagery I selected to write about and tie into Jon's story, while inspiring in some ways, was also emotionally overwhelming because of truth conveyed in the fiction: the truth about Jon's journey, past, present, and future.
The journey still continues and thinking of the unknown adventure ahead can be so frightening at times. Yet, looking back from the places we stand now is encouraging too. So, read the letter. I will now let it speak for itself. I can't put into words, again, what I conveyed that evening at graduation. And yet, what I did convey was only a piece of what I could express. Forgive the errors please. I preserve it in the form it was imperfectly written in, and not the form it took when it was spoken.
Attribution: Leaving Hobbiton
Jonathan,
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door. .
. You step onto the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no
knowing where you might be swept off to."
Over the many years I think we’ve all been swept off our
feet a time or two while traveling on the Road God has allowed us; most
especially you. Bilbo’s advice is wise,
yet keeping one’s feet is a difficult task, and not everyone does it in the
same manner. I think about the many
different ways in which we have attempted to do this, and I think it really
boils down not to “keeping our feet,” but to staying on our toes. We have all needed to remain flexible, you
most of all.
The cancer road has not swept you off your feet. You may have tripped, tumbled, and lost track
of direction a few times, but you have never lost your footing on the Road God
has given to you. Instead you have, at
different times, skipped, trudged, run, and crawled your way down the
Road. Each bend in the road has held a
different adventure. Some have been
pleasant, though most have been painful.
Your endurance is amazing, and is a testament of God’s amazing creation
and your faith in Him. The burden you
have borne has cost you much, but allowed you much as well.
If you remember The
Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings,
then you might remember that Bilbo’s adventure was a very different one from
Frodo’s, his nephew. Frodo even says at
one point that his own adventure turned out quite differently than
Bilbo’s. Much like your life, your
adventure has been very different compared to your peers and most of the adults
surrounding you. Every stage of your
adventure has been different, hence the Lord
of the Rings allusions. J.R.R.
Tolkien wrote different versions of the song The Road Goes Ever On, and
all were published. I do not think this
was a fickle mistake on his end. Rather,
Tolkien was making a point about “adventures.”
At each stage in our own adventure, we face different feelings and have
different perspectives based on the experience at hand. I believe these versions apply to the Road
you have traveled down so far, and I would like to share them with you.
Roads go ever ever
on,
Over rock and
under tree,
By caves where
never sun has shone,
By streams that
never find the sea;
Over snow by
winter sown,
And through the
merry flowers of June,
Over grass and
over stone,
And under mountains
in the moon.
This first and original version was part of Bilbo’s recital
in The Hobbit. As seen by references to a road that leads to
“caves where never sun has shone” and “over grass and over stone, and under
mountains in the moon,” one understands that this version deals with the
newness of adventuring. How it is
exciting seeing things and experiencing new things. Overall, it is a very pleasant version, it is
very innocent.
The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door
where it began.
Now far ahead the
Road has gone,
And I must follow,
if I can,
Pursuing it with
eager feet,
Until it joins
some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then?
I cannot say.
In this next version, a certain level of weariness and
uncertainty is seen by lines such as “and I must follow, if I can,” and “where
many paths and errands meet, and whither then? I cannot say.” Uncertainty and apprehension looms beneath
the surface. Suddenly, it is implied
that the Road has become less exciting and more serious. Perhaps, larger than is comfortable for the
singer. The Road is becoming difficult
and larger than anticipated. Hence, the
uncertainty of the singer.
The Road goes ever
on and on
Out from the door
where it began.
Now far ahead the
Road has gone,
Let others follow
it who can!
Let them a journey
new begin,
But I at last with
weary feet
Will turn towards
the lighted inn,
My evening-rest
and sleep to meet.
This next version lightens up a bit, because it encourages
to “let them a journey new begin” on a Road that has gone far ahead. The singer is telling others to continue on
the Road, but he “at last with weary feet will turn towards the lighted
inn.” His adventure, it seems, has
winded him and he must rest and gather strength before continuing.
Still round the
corner there may wait
A new road or a
secret gate,
And though I oft
have passed them by,
A day will come at
last when I
Shall take the
hidden paths that run
West of the Moon,
East of the Sun.
Finally, this last version ends with a mysterious nod to the
future Road ahead. For “still round the
corner may wait a new road or a secret gate.”
Meaning, that what lies ahead is ahead and unknown. This is the Road that the singer prepared for
when he rested in the previous version.
It ends on a serious note, when the singer realizes that someday he will
take “the hidden paths that run West of the Moon, East of the Sun.”
I hope you understand the different phases of adventuring down the Road you tread, and the Roads Bilbo and Frodo walked. Each Road, life, will have different phases of adventures. Some are exciting, some are overwhelming and uncertain, others require rest and preparation for the future, and all lead to a “new road or a secret gate.” The main point though is that “the Road goes ever on and on,” and we must walk it in the best way we can that glorifies God.
In the words of Gandalf, “All we have to decide is what to
do with the time that is given to us.”
With that being said, congrats on graduating from high school. The Road has been hard and very unique, but
it is a phase finished and finished well.
Now, prepare for the future, for whatever God has in store for you as
you continue down your Road.
I am very proud of you and love you very much.
-Natasha
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