Even When We are Dying, We are Living

Today I read a story about Tomas Young, an Army veteran.  While the story is very political, I’m not interested in tackling politics with this blog post or even on this blog.  What I am interested in is the life and dying experience behind the story.  Tomas wrote an open letter to President Bush and VP Cheney from his hospice bed.  Now, I’ve visited two people in hospice before, and I attended their funerals.  One was my uncle and he died from, yep, you guessed it, cancer.  The other was a young lady who was also dying from cancer.  I think many of us that have not experienced hospice through our own stay or visiting a patient, have this perception that the person living and breathing is dead already, figuratively.  It’s true; they are facing what is most likely their imminent death.  For some reason we think that this person has either a) given up, or b) has finally faced the odds.  I think both of those scenarios often apply to a person in hospice, but they still aren’t dead.  But there is something about them facing their death realistically that weirds many of us out.  So much so, that we tend to think of a hospice patient as already dead because they are waiting for death.  Well, I don’t think that’s a very good perspective to have about hospice patients, nor for hospice patients to have about themselves.

Tomas chose hospice over suicide, as the story indicates.  He chose hospice for other people’s sakes, so they could “stop by or call and say their goodbyes.”  He chose a course of death, of finality on earth, which was selfless.  In dying, he wasn’t completely wrapped up in his own circumstances.  Remember that letter I mentioned?  Well, that was also an action taken during hospice.  See, even in the act of dying, Tomas chose to live.  He chose to give voice to his thoughts and feelings about circumstances very close to his heart.  In dying, he chose to still engage and exude live by expressing himself.

We are all dying from the moment we are born.  Yet, that doesn’t make dying or facing death any easier, especially when it is unexpected.  I think our actions, when we are facing death, tell the most about us.  Tomas’s choices to pursue hospice care instead of suicide and pen an open letter to powerful men that engages in controversial politics is anything but death.  He lives while he is dying a very real death.  These choices show a lot about his personality and character.

What will I be like when I’m dying? (Assuming I don’t die quickly).  What a question most of humanity shuns!  I’ve asked myself this question a lot because of my brother’s cancers and the numerous deaths that have occurred in my life since 2000.  I hope I’m like Tomas.  I hope I think of others.  I hope my nieces and nephews visit me just as I visited my uncle, because it taught me a lot about life and death.  I hope I engage in life, even as it is leeched from my limbs.  I hope I’m witty, fun, and gracious as I deal with all the frustrations and complications.  I hope I don’t grow bitter in my last days.  I hope I have the strength and fortitude to face death with dignity.